


Shattered

by CrushedByARainbow



Category: Sanders Sides
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxceit - Freeform, Blood, Fighting, I think I have all the tags, M/M, Minor Graphic Imagery, Minor Injuries, Mirrors, Screaming, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt (kind of), Swearing, Sympathetic Deceit, Sympathetic Remus, Violence, Yelling, let me know if I need more tags, please be safe our there friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-01-29 02:24:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21402628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrushedByARainbow/pseuds/CrushedByARainbow
Summary: After having to deal with the light sides one to many times. Deceit has started to feel bad about himself and his mental state grows weaker. Prompting him to have a talk with himself in the mirror. Which doesn't go well, at all.
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit Sanders
Comments: 22
Kudos: 220





	1. Mirror Mirror

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Blood, Injury, Suicide Attempt (sort of), and Self Harm. If you or a loved one is sensitive and/or triggered by these kinds of things. Please do not read. If you're okay with all that, then read on!
> 
> Also, please be safe out there my friends. Remember how important and loved you are!
> 
> Now, onto the show.

They were all idiots. Idiots! 

Did they not see how hard he worked? 

Were they so blinded by their hatred that they couldn't even see past his scales? 

Deceit scowled at the mirror, his heterochromia eyes staring back at him. His one yellow eye emitting a dull glow and illuminating the soft greenish-brown scales on the left side of his face.  
The sound of laughter suddenly echoed in the mirror and Deceit squinted at his reflection, watching as it mistified and changed into a monstrous version of himself.  
The monstrous reflection wore the same suit as him but instead of yellow accents, they were a deep shade of red. It also had black scales, a scarlet red glowing eye, and a wide sly grin that slicked up its cheek with shiny, sharp pointy teeth. The reflection flicked its forked tongue and chuckled softly. 

"I don't need your help right now," Deceit spat in the mirror. 

The reflection rolled its eyes and waved its hand dismissively. "Now now, there's no need to get so pissy about it," the reflection said with a sickeningly sweet voice. "It's not like they ever cared about you in the first place. Besides, who are you going to talk to besides me? That horrid boyfriend of yours?" 

Deceit frowned and glanced away. "I'm sure he'd be a better listener than you," he mumbled. 

"Pfft, that little monster? Really Deceit, for someone as classy as yourself. I'm honestly surprised you chose someone so..." the reflection paused "disgusting" 

"Oh? Funny how you call him disgusting when I can barely stand the sight of you," Deceit snapped back. 

The reflection frowned "Well, at least I'm not running around trying to fight with those dimwits. I mean, do you really expect them to accept you? Or even like you for that matter?" 

"They did once," Deceit replied. "But that was before..."

"Before everything went to hell?" The reflection laughed and hissed "Ah, yessss. I believe I do remember the time when all you little light sidesssss and dark sidessss were together in one place." 

Deceit glanced back at the mirror, narrowing his eyes as the body of the reflection rippled like water. Turning itself into a picture of Patton, Logan, Deceit, and the original creativity. They were all standing around together, smiling and laughing as they used to. 

"I remember the story ever so clearly," the reflection cleared its throat. "Once upon a time you all lived happily in the mindscape. You 'self-preservation' along with Emotion, Curiosity, and Creativity. A grand bunch of friends, we're you not?"

Deceit frowned and glared at the mirror. He already knew where this was going. 

"Till one day, everything changed and Creativity was split in two." The reflection showed an image of Creativity being split in half. Roman and Remus falling to the floor with bloodied clothing and colorful tears running down their cheeks, a broken golden crown between them. 

"Oh and look at that, our king is dead." A red frowny face was drawn onto the glass. 

"Whatever should we do?" the reflection laughed, this time showing a picture of everyone fighting. Looking between each other with spiteful looks and sharpened teeth.

"Then everyone changed. Emotion became Morality, Curiosity became Logic, Creativity was split into good and bad, and the little 'self-preservation' became a _snake_. A lying, deceiving thing that could never be trusted again." The reflection flicked his forked tongue. 

Deceit growled at his reflection, tightening his gloved hand into a fist. 

"And then one day, an itsy bitsy spider was born. A tiny thing wrapped in black cloth. Its cries that caused alarm. The world in which it's little hands spun." The mirror showed a younger version of Virgil, wrapped in a black checkered blanket. 

"Everyone hated it, and who could blame them? Because of the little thing, Thomas learned to fear many things." The picture changed to that of Thomas, holding his head as thoughts of spiders, clowns, and people danced above him. 

"Then one-day tensions grew high and words fell on death ears. So you stole them away. The twin from his brother and the spider from the light." The image changed to that of Deceit, tears streaming down his face as he ran away from the light sides. Virgil was in his arms and he was holding onto Remus's hand. "Hoping you were doing what was right." 

The reflection appeared again and smiled smugly. "Well, look how that turned out."

"Are you done?" Deceit sighed. 

"What's the matter? A little too real for your taste? Should I have sprinkled it with some lies? Honey-sweet lies?" the reflection snarled

"Enough, please" Deceit pleaded "I've heard that same story over and over again. I'm getting quite sick of hearing it." 

"But you deserve to hear it," the reflection hissed 

"Shut up," Deceit hissed back, clenching his jaw and breathing in a sharp breath. 

"It's all your fault!" the reflection snapped

"Shut up!" Deceit cried as he punched the reflection in the mirror. Causing it to shatter and pieces to fly everywhere. 

"It's your fault we're in this mess!" his reflection screamed at him 

Deceit fell to the floor and began pounding on the glass with his hands. Tearing his gloves apart and soaking them through with blood. Deceit stopped for only a moment to look at his reflection in the broken shards. Seeing his face and his ever-present scales in the scattered mess. He began to violently dig into his scales with his nails, making his face bleed. 

"Monster, monster, monster!" he screamed at himself, grabbing one of the shards and slicing away at his scales. Black dots began swarming around his eyes and his body ran cold. Darkness swarmed over him and he blacked out, lying in the glass shards around him and a pool of crimson blood. 

\- 

Usually, when Remus hears a scream, it doesn't bother him. Yet, when he hears his boyfriend screaming at himself in the bathroom mirror. The tantalizing feeling of joy doesn't come to mind but rather the crawling chills of dread. Remus could already think of a million bad things Deceit could be doing to himself.

"Dee Dee? Are you in there?" Remus asked, knocking on the door of the bathroom. There was no response. Remus gulped and grabbed the handle, attempting to open the door but it was locked. 

"Shut up!" he heard Deceit scream and then glass shattering. Remus jumped and jiggled the door handle, trying to get in. He banged on the door and called Deceit's name over and over, but the door wouldn't budge. 

"Monster, monster, monster!" Deceit screamed

Remus panicked and summoned his morning star. Beating down the door with it and scurrying into the room. His eyes grew wide at the sight of Deceit on the floor, surrounded by glass shards. His hands and face covered in scratches and blood. Remus rushed to his side and called Deceit's name, a soft moan coming from him. Remus sighed in relief and quickly jumped up again. Searching the cabinet for the first aid kit but couldn't find it. 

"What should I do?" Remus growled, glancing over to Deceit on the floor. Then an idea popped into his head and knew who he should go to. Remus sunk out of the bathroom and appeared in the light sides commons. Everyone turned there heads to look at him. 

"What are you doing here Remus?" his brother snapped at him

"Ya kiddo. You look worse for wear," added Patton

Remus ignored them and went straight to Logan, grabbing him by the collar. "Please, you have to help!" Remus chocked out as tears started to stream down his face. 

"Calm down Remus. I can't understand you," Logan said 

Remus took in a slow shuddering breath and let Logan go. Logan straightened himself and adjusted his collar. "Now what is it?" Logan asked calmly

"It's Deceit. He's hurt and he might die!" Remus cried

Logan's face fell "show me," he said

Remus nodded and grabbed Logan's hand, sinking out. Shortly followed by the others who were also surprisingly worried about the snake.


	2. Please Don't Leave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceit is severely injured and the sides are quick to take action and bandage his wounds. But, will Deceit really be okay?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sneaks in through window* psst...I have a Tumblr now. Go follow me at https://imcrushedbyarainbow.tumblr.com/ for more Sanders Sides fics, theories, headcanons, and ideas. That's all. *sneaks back out of window*
> 
> Now back to your regularly scheduled program.

His mind was fuzzy and his vision blurred. All he could hear were the muffled sounds of shouting and crying as pain shot throughout his body. 

"Deceit, can you hear me?"

Deceit blinked in confusion and turned his head slightly to the right. He could see a blue and black figure standing over him. He watched as the blurry figure reached down and gingerly touching his scales, tracing over them. Deceit instinctively flinched and backed away toward the tub, hissing.

"He seems to be conscious," said the figure, now much clearer than before. "though I don't think he understands what's going on." 

"What should we do?" asked another voice. 

"Let's bring him into the common room. It will be easier to take care of his wounds there." 

"Are you sure we should do that? He looks like he's going to kill anyone who comes near him." 

"Well if you're too much of a scaredy-cat to touch him storm cloud. Then I'll do it!" 

Deceit hissed and scooted away from the green-clad figure walking toward him. Deceit hissed again as the figure carefully crouched and moved closer to Deceit. Deceit then felt himself being grabbed and lifted into the air. He freaked out and attempted to push the figure away, scratching and biting at them. Yet, when he smelled the familiar scent of cheap cologne and garbage, he strangely relaxed. Leaning into whoever it was that was lifting him up. 

"R-Remus?" Dee coughed

"Shh, your alright Dee," Remus whispered, kissing Deceit ever so gently. 

Deceit shuddered and closed his eyes, blacking out again.

\- 

Deceit was a mess, that was for sure. His scales and hands were covered in deep cuts and scratches, not to mention the pieces of glass that jutted out of his skin. 

"Is he going to be okay?" Remus asked as Logan assessed the damage. 

They had gotten Deceit into the common room and set him up on the couch. Logan was looking over his wounds and working on getting all the glass out and cleaning up the blood. 

"He'll be fine," Logan said as he began to apply the medicine and bandages. "He just needs to rest for now. He seems to be under a lot of emotional stress." 

"Didn't you say he was screaming at himself, Remus?" asked Virgil 

"Ya, he was screaming 'shut up' and 'monster.' Like he was yelling at someone or something," Remus replied 

"Well, I guess all we can do is wait for Deceit to wake up again and ask him what happened," said Patton 

"Like he'll tell us anything," Roman piped up "He's always been so secretive."

"Shh, he's waking up," said Logan

\- 

Deceit slowly opened his eyes as black spots danced around his eyes. A wave of pain washed over him and he felt bile spill into his throat, causing him to cough and groaned. 

"Deceit?" 

Deceit blinked away the dots and turned his head slightly, looking at Logan. Confusion clouded his mind and he began to sit up. Logan reached out a hand and gently pushed him back down. 

"Lie down Deceit. Any sudden movements might cause more harm," said Logan

Deceit sighed but didn't say anything, lying back down on the couch. He reached his hand up towards his face and traced his scales, frowning at the bandages covering half of his face. "Damn reflection," he mumbled 

"How are you feeling?" asked Logan

"Like a mummy," Deceit replied looking down at his bandaged hands. He could only imagine the kinds of cuts that were on them. 

"No, I meant how are you feeling in a general sense of health," said Logan

Deceit rolled his eyes "I'm doing just fine doc," he replied

"You don't look fine," said Roman 

"It's none of your business," Deceit scowled "Now if you don't mind. I think I'll be going back to my room." Deceit started to get up again but Remus scurried on top of him, pushing Deceit down on the couch and entangling him in his arms. 

"Sorry DeeDee but your staying here," said Remus

"Remus," Deceit scolded

"He's right," Patton said, "We need to make sure your okay." 

"Indeed," Logan said giving Deceit a hard look "Deceit. As of today, you are my patient and I am your doctor. As such, you are to stay on this couch and not move a muscle. At least not until we are able to fix up your room into a suitable hospital room. Doctor's orders," 

"Since when were you a doctor?" Deceit asked sarcastically 

"Since about an hour ago," Logan replied matter-o-factually "Well then. Remus, I trust that you can keep him still until then?" 

Remus nodded and snuggled closer to Deceit "Of course I can! He won't be going anywhere," he giggled

"I assure all of you, I'm fine. I don't need to be taken care of by the likes of you," Deceit said

"Well too bad because it's either you stay here or you die," Virgil growled 

Everyone looked Virgil in surprise and he turned away. Throwing up his hoodie and tightening it around his face. Deceit was also surprised at Virgil's words but didn't show as much. He merely sighed and closed his eyes. "Fine," he mumbled. 

"We'll have your room fixed shortly," said Logan 

"Do what you want," Deceit grumbled, "It's not like I have much of a choice." 

Deceit didn't even bother opening his eyes again as the others sunk out. Remus hugged tightly onto Deceit and nuzzled his neck. Deceit suddenly felt something wet on his neck and was about to push Remus off when he realized Remus was crying. Deceit frowned and ran his bandaged hand through Remus's brown curls. 

"Dee," Remus whispered, "I almost lost you." 

"I'm sorry Remus," Deceit said, "I didn't mean to scare you like that." 

Remus sniffled and lifted his head, pressing his lips against Deceits in a gentle kiss. He stared lovingly into his mismatched eyes. "I love you Double Dee and if I lost you...I don't know what I'd do." 

"Remus, I'm so sorry. I never meant to do that, I just couldn't handle-" Deceit sighed "I just had a breakdown is all." 

"You were going to say 'It' weren't you? It was that stupid reflection of yours again wasn't it?" Remus growled

"No it-" 

Remus turned away "I'll kill it. I'll kill that damn reflection with my bare hands," he snarled

Deceit grabbed Remus's head and turned his gaze towards him. "Rem, you know you can't fight it." 

"Why not?" Remus spat "Is it too much of a coward?" 

Deceit sighed "No, because it doesn't exist. It's merely a projection of my own thoughts, that's all." 

"Then how did it hurt you?" asked Remus

"It didn't hurt me, Remus. I hurt myself by letting my thoughts get the better of me." 

"Then let me kill them for you! Let me destroy all those thoughts in your head that hurt you." 

"Rem." 

"Please, Dee," Remus whispered, tears streaming down his face as he pressed their foreheads together. "Let me fight them for you. I don't want to lose you, especially not to yourself. Please, I want you to stay with me forever." 

Deceit frowned and kissed Remus, pulling him in. "Then love me," Deceit whispered "I don't need you to fight my thoughts for me, Remus, because they will probably never go away. But I'll keep living this miserable existence. Just so long as your here to live it with me. " 

Remus smiled and wiped Deceit's cheeks, making Deceit realize he was crying as well. Then Remus kissed Deceit again, their bodies melding together as hot wet tears spread across their faces. 

"I love you," whispered Deceit "I promise that isn't a lie," 

"I know," Remus chuckled

"Ahem," 

Deceit and Remus looked at each other and turned their heads towards the living room. Virgil was standing in his spot on the stairs, his eyes directed toward the ground and his hands in his pockets. 

"Logan says the rooms ready. He told me to tell you," Virgil said, not bothering to look up. 

"Thanks!" said Remus, turning back to Deceit. "Let's get you somewhere a little more comfortable." 

"Alright," said Deceit

Remus climbed off Deceit and carefully lifted him off the couch. Then the three of them sunk out together and to Deceit's room.


	3. Visitations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceit is placed into his room that has now been transformed into a hospital room. He is then visited, both in a dream and in reality.

When Logan said a hospital room, he meant a hospital room. Deceit’s once classy yellow room was now turned into a plain white room with a simple hospital bed hooked up to a monitor. Deceit couldn't understand why they were doing all of this for him. They never gave a shit about him before, so why start now? 

"Ah, Deceit. Right on time," said Logan "I hope the room is to your liking," 

"It's _lovely_" replied Deceit

"Why thank you" 

Deceit rolled his eyes at him. 

"Let's get you into bed then," Logan clapped his hands and rubbed them together. "Remus, if you would?" 

"Right on it!" Remus said as he snapped his fingers, changing Deceit's fancier clothing into a simple t-shirt and pajama pants. Remus pulled the covers back and gently placed Deceit into the bed. Remus then situated the covers over Deceit and called Logan over. Logan walked over and started to fiddle with the monitor, as he wrapped a device around Deceit's wrist. 

"So we can keep an eye on your vitals," Logan said 

"Oh, goodie," Deceit replied

When Deceit was situated, Logan stood back up and turned to Patton. "Well, I think we'd better get something for you to eat. Patton? Could you go make Deceit some soup?" asked Logan

"Of course," Patton replied as he sunk out of the room in a flash. 

"I'm not particularly interested in eating at the moment," said Deceit "besides, isn't this a little too much for me? I'm fine and don't need anyone's assistance." 

"Falsehood. You've lost a lot of blood Deceit and your body isn't taking it well." 

"Why should you care? I thought you hated me?" Deceit snapped back. 

"Even if we don't like you Jekyll and Hyde. Your still apart of Thomas," said Roman 

"Indeed. We need to make sure your okay Deceit," said Logan 

Deceit sighed and sunk down into the bed, pulling the blanket over him. "Even so, I'm still not eating," he said as he turned away from them. 

"Dee, you have to eat something," Remus cooed 

"Sorry Remus, but I'm just not in the mood to eat anything." 

"Deceit, I understand the feeling of not being hungry. But your body does need some sort of nourishment," 

"Go away," Deceit said muffled under the blankets

"If we don't make you eat now. Do you promise to eat later?" asked Remus 

"Promise," Deceit mumbled in response and snuggled into the blanket. He didn't really want to eat at all or do anything for that matter. He just wanted sleep. 

-

"Well well, it looks like the little snake has some allies after all." 

Deceit's eyes fluttered open as he grunted, wondering where the strange voice was coming from. He was lying on the ground and sat up seeing nothing but darkness around him. Suddenly a spotlight flashed on and landed its light onto a table. The table had a tea set on it and a range of treats. Deceit got up and stepped toward the table. 

"Like what you see? I made them all myself you know" said the voice again

Deceit squinted his eyes at the table and jerked back when he saw his reflection sitting there. The reflection laughed at his reaction and hit his hand on the table. 

"My Deceit, you should see the look on your face. It's much too priceless," the reflection snorted then grinning from ear to ear. It gestured toward the seat across from the table. "Please, have a seat," the reflection said 

Deceit took a seat at the table and eyed the reflection carefully. "What do you want?" 

"Oh nothing, I just wanted to see how you were doing. You did mess yourself up pretty badly you know." The reflection poured some tea into two cups and handed one over to Deceit. 

"And who's fault was that?" Deceit hissed as he wrinkled his nose at the tea. 

"Your's obviously," the reflection drawled, taking a sip from its own cup with a satisfied sigh. 

"Really? Because I seem to recall you being the one to provoke me," Deceit replied

"Alright, so maybe I pushed you a little too much. Though, it was because of me that the light sides finally noticed you. So perhaps you should thank me," the reflection grinned

"The day I thank you is the day I die."

The reflection rolled his eyes. 'Touchy, touchy. Really Deceit, I don't see why you haven't left yet. Clearly there's no use for you being here and besides. Even if the light sides care about you now, it won't always stay that way. Soon enough they'll go back to hating you and wishing you were dead." 

Deceit was about to answer when he heard someone calling his name. The reflection scowled "it looks like we have company." It snapped its fingers and the room dissipated, leaving Deceit in nothing but darkness again. 

"Deceit?" 

Deceit eyes fluttered open as his head pounded. "Ugh," Deceit rubbed his head. 

"Deceit, are you okay?" 

Deceit glanced over and saw Virgil standing there. "Virgil? What are you doing here?" he asked, his voice hoarse. 

"I just wanted to see if you were okay you idiot," Virgil growled but then turned away. "You worried me you know." 

"Me? Worry you? Oh, Virgil, I do love it when you joke." Deceit laughed

"It's not a joke." 

Deceit stopped laughing and gave Virgil a curious look. "What do you mean? Are you hear to finish the job?" 

"I'm not here for that either," Virgil rolled his eyes

"Then why are you here!" Deceit snapped causing Virgil to back up a little. Deceit sighed "Sorry, I didn't mean to be so loud."

Virgil didn't reply and crossed his arms, avoiding Deceit's gaze. 

The two sat there for a while, barely even acknowledging each other. Virgil crossing an arm along his chest and rubbing the back of his neck. While Deceit stared down at his bandaged hands. The room practically suffocating the too of them. 

Virgil sighed and looked towards Deceit again. He frowned and stepped lightly over to the bed, starting to climb in. "Move over," Virgil grumbled.  
Deceit quirked an eyebrow but otherwise did nothing as he scooted over. Virgil crawled into the bed and pulled the covers over him, snuggling up to Deceit. 

"What are you doing?" Deceit asked, suspicious of Virgil's sudden affections. 

"Say anything about this and I immediately leave," Virgil mumbled as curled up on Deceit's chest. 

Deceit was half tempted to shake him off, seeing how strange this was. Yet he didn't as he ever so carefully wrapped his arms around Virgil. The anxious side tensed up for a moment before relaxing into Deceit's touch.  
Deceit was sure Virgil hated him, but now, seeing his face nuzzled into his chest. Deceit couldn't help but feel flustered and strange. He wanted to hold Virgil like this forever, just as he had done before. Yet, he knew it wouldn't last. When we woke up again, Virgil would be gone. 

"Goodnight storm cloud," Deceit whispered as he gently kissed the top of Virgil's hair. Holding back his tears as he settled into the bed, pulling Virgil closer, and promptly falling asleep again.


	4. Complicated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceit wakes up a short time later to find Virgil is gone. He doesn't have time to be bothered before he is visited by Remus and then is checked up on by Logan.

Deceit woke up a short time later, feeling sicker than before. He sighed and stretched, reaching his hand to the left side of the bed to find warmth. Only to find cold sheets and no Virgil. He had left.

"Dee! It's time to eat!" Remus sang as he crashed into the room with a tray held high above his head. "Daddy-o made you some soup!"

Deceit eternally groaned at the idea of food but smiled anyway.  
Remus skipped over to the bed and flopped down with the tray still held above his head. He set the tray down and grabbed the spoon, dipping it into the hot soup. "Open wide DeeDee," Remus cooed.  
Deceit sighed and opened his mouth, Remus held the spoon up to Deceit's lips. Deceit slurped the soup off the spoon but started to cough when the hot liquid slid down his throat.

"Oops, too hot huh?" Remus asked. Remus grabbed another spoonful and blew on it, making sure it was cool enough before feeding it to Deceit. But with every spoonful, Deceit had to fight the urge to throw it back up. So, when the spoon came again, Deceit pushed it away and scrunched his nose in disgust.

"Come on DeeDee, you have to eat," said Remus. He held the spoon back towards Deceit, but he turned away.

"I'm good, I'm going to throw up if I eat anymore," Deceit replied

"Alright, well just have to finish it later than." Remus put the bowl and tray on the nightstand. He turned to Deceit and sighed, stroking the side of his face where the bandages were.

"It's about time for another checkup," he said, "I'll go get Logan."

Remus started to get up but Deceit caught his hand. "Remus?" he asked

"Oh? Are you lonely my dear?" Remus cooed softly

"No, it's just. Did you see Virgil come into my room?" he asked

"Virgil? No, I haven't. Is something wrong?"

"It's nothing, I was just wondering." Deceit smiled but Remus cocked an eyebrow, seemingly suspicious. Deceit turned away and cleared his throat. "It's fine, you can go grab Logan now if you want."

Remus shook his head but smiled "Alright, you stay here," he said. Remus pecked Deceit's lips and skipped out of the room. Deceit watched him go as sighed and laid down on the bed. He stared up at the white ceiling as his head swirled again and his stomach sank. He had to will himself not to throw up anything.

-

Logan appeared a few minutes later, with a doctor's bag on his arm. Deceit had to hold back his laughter at how much Logan was getting into the whole "doctor" thing.

"How are you getting along?" asked Logan, setting the bag onto the bed.

"I'm doing dandy," Deceit replied

Logan raised an eyebrow but otherwise said nothing else. He checked Deceit's vitals and took notes from the machine. Then he sat on the bed and began to remove the bandages from Deceit's face.

"The cuts seem to have somewhat healed, though they still do seem a bit deep. We'll change your bandages shortly but first," Logan reached into his doctor's bag and grabbed out a bottle of medicine. "I also have nausea medicine for you. Remus said you were feeling sick so I figured they should help."

"Thanks, doc," Deceit replied, grabbing the medicine. He popped two pills into his mouth and swallowed them without hesitation.

Logan looked down at his notes and wrote something down. "Now let's get you bandaged up." Logan grabbed some bandages and medicine from his bag. He carefully began to apply the medicine to the cuts, prompting a few winces from Deceit and mumbled apologies from Logan. Then finally he started to wrap the bandages around Deceit's head, making sure they sat comfortably.

"There, you're all set now," said Logan

"Wonderful, now you can leave," Deceit replied with a polite smile.

"Wait a minute, Deceit, I still need to talk to you about something," Logan replied

Deceit raised an eyebrow "What about?"

"Well, I would like to talk to you about your mental health."

"My mental health?" asked Deceit

"Yes, it's come to my attention you had a 'visitor'. At the time of your breakdown."

"Who told you this?" Deceit hissed

"Remus. Actually, he told us a lot about it. I assume he was going based on what you've told him but it certainly didn't sound pleasant."

"It isn't," Deceit hissed through his teeth. "But I rather not talk about it."

"I understand you have some harsh feelings towards this figure. However, I feel it would be in everyone's best interest to understand what it is your fighting. So that we can help you deal with it."

Deceit rolled his eyes, no one could help him. Especially with that thing.

"Remus told us that this figure is the thoughts in your mind. Is that correct?"

"Thoughts, stress, ideas, all manifested in how I see myself. The things that won't go away till the day I die."

"Ah, so it's how you perceive yourself? A sort of reflection of your self-view, doubts, stresses, and such."

"Wow, you solved it, Sherlock."

Logan sighed and put his notes on his lap, his expression softening. "Deceit, you don't have to be so hostile."

"Me? Hostile? Never. I wouldn't ever dream of having to defend myself from someone like you," Deceit waved his hand dismissively.

"Deceit-"

Deceit frowned and gave Logan a cold hard stare. "Look, whatever my reflection is it doesn't matter. This was just a fluke, a one-off instance, that won't happen again. After this is all over, we'll all go back to the way we were. Me trying to do my f-ing job and you guys hating me for it."

"Deceit-"

Deceit growled and turned away, squeezing his eyes shut. "No! I don't care. I have no need for your friendship. All you need to do is help me get better. That's it." Deceit snapped. "Now get done with your visit and leave."

"Deceit listen, I know there's probably a lot of pent up anger towards us," Logan replied

"Try a lifetime," Deceit replied

Logan sighed and put a hand on Deceit's leg. "Deceit," he said "I don't blame you for hating us. I don't blame you for the feelings you have towards us. And I understand how hard it's been for you these past few years. Trying to keep your own feelings in check while taking care of the others."

Deceit eyed Logan carefully.

"However, please understand. We never meant to push you away like that or put that responsibility on you. We were all children who barely understood anything about the world. We were trying to figure things out and, as such, it caused us to hurt you in the process."

Deceit bit his lip and eyed Logan suspiciously. Logan seemed to be sincere, but coming from him, it was rather strange. 

"And for that I'm sorry," Logan continued "but right now Deceit. I need you to trust us, I need you to see we aren't here to hurt you. We aren't here to hate you or blame you for everything wrong in the world or our lives. We want to help you."

Deceit had just about enough of trusting people. "How can you help me? How can I trust you when I feel sick to my stomach with every thought that crosses my mind? Why should I care about the people who took away someone I loved?" Deceit snapped, angry tears forming in his eyes.

"Think back, at any point during these last few days. Have we ever once lied to you? Have you felt or tasted a lie at all? Have we acted in any way hostile towards you?" Logan countered.

Deceit's eyes grew wide and he thought back for a moment and realized he hadn't. There hadn't been a single bit of bitterness on his tongue in the last few days. They were all honest. Yet, the suspicion didn't seem to leave.

"I want to trust you," Deceit said, wiping away the tears that were now streaming down his cheeks. "But I don't know how anymore. I honest to gosh don't know how to trust people, without my mind going apeshit on me for doing so."

"Then let us help you," said Logan softly.

Deceit did want to trust them, he did want to let them help, to go back to how things used to be. But there was still something there that was holding him back.

There was a long silence between the two of them before Logan spoke again.

"I've been talking to the others recently," Logan said "And we would like to ask you and Remus to move in with us. It's clear you aren't in a good place right now Deceit and we want to make sure you're safe."

"Wait, what?"

"We want you to-"

"No, I get what you're saying. It's just I'm not quite getting it," Deceit said. He rubbed his temples and looked at Logan."You want us, the most nonsensical, stubbornest, and rowdiest people you will ever meet. To move in with you?"

"It will only be for a few months. You seem to be under a lot of mental stress Deceit and we would like to help relieve some of that stress if we can."

"Wouldn't that just make me more stressed? Living with people who I've had plenty of quarrels with?" Deceit asked

"True but I think it would also benefit you. After all, it's hard to fight anything alone. So why not fight it with us?" Logan replied

Deceit frowned and looked down at his bandaged hands. His heterochromatic eyes fixating on the scales that peeked under them.

_Monster_

He scowled and turned his head away from them. "Fine," he said. "I can't promise I'll be the best houseguest there ever lived. But I'll at least try to be reasonable."

"That's all I could ask for," Logan replied

"I guess you better tell the others who are listening in on our conversation that Remus and I will be staying with you."

"We weren't listening!" came a sudden voice

"Roman, sshhh!"

Logan blinked in confusion and looked over at Deceit. "How did you know the others were eavesdropping?" he asked

"Trust me, Logan, for all my years of taking care of people. I've gotten quite good at knowing things others don't know."

Logan chuckled "You really are something Deceit."

"I wouldn't say I'm something. Just a man trying to survive with a bunch of idiots."

"Well then, I guess I'd better let you have some rest. I'll see you in a bit Deceit," said Logan. He got up from the bed and grabbed his bag. Deceit watched him go and sighed.

It seemed to Deceit that things were starting to get more and more complicated with each passing day and he wasn't sure if he would be able to handle it all.


	5. Living With You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceit is starting to get better after some regular therapy with Logan. He feels like the storm brewing inside him has lessened and everything is working out for the better. However, there is still one storm he has yet to overcome, Virgil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ladies and Gentlemen and Non-Binary Friends! I give you the final chapter of Shattered! This took me a while to write as my motivation and inspiration took a nose dive off a bridge. However, I'm back now and hope you enjoy it!

Deceit stood in front of his bedroom mirror, throwing on his clothes and fixing his caplet over his shoulders. It was the first time in weeks he decided to get dressed after having moved in with the Light Sides. 

"I'm surprised they're letting you live with them," the reflection said as it appeared in the mirror. "Truly they must be crazy to think you of all people deserve this."

"Hm?" Deceit hummed.

"Are you ignoring me? Wow, Deceit, I never thought it possible," the reflection snickered. 

Deceit adjusted his sleeves over his arms and put on his gloves. Though he wanted to snap back at his thoughts and tear them apart as they did to him, he knew he couldn't. "Don't make an effort to rally against something that will only prompt you to hurt yourself," Logan had said.  
So, Deceit merely rolled his eyes and turned away "I'm sorry but I need to go now, Patton and I are baking today and I _do_ want to be late for that," he said. He didn't bother looking back at his reflection as he sunk out of the room.

"I want to try something today," Logan began

They were currently in Logan's office turned therapy room. Logan sat in a stiff fabric chair while Deceit sat on a plush red couch. They had started doing regular sessions of talk therapy which seemed to be helping Deceit quite a bit.

Logan summoned a mirror in his hand and gave it to Deceit, who reluctantly took it. "If possible, I want you to talk to your reflection as I jot down some notes."

"What do I talk about?" Deceit asked

"Whatever comes to mind," Logan said

Deceit stared into the mirror as it wavered and his reflection appeared, looking rather interested in what was happening.

Deceit sighed "I believe it will be possible." 

"Good, now begin," Logan prompted

"Oh? Do I get to join in this time?" the reflection asked

"Apparently yes," Deceit replied

"How fun, now what are we going to talk about?" The reflection tapped a finger to its chin. "Ah, I know. You feel ridiculous right now, don't you? Talking to something like me, an illusion in your mind."

"Not as silly as you tend to be," Deceit replied, "It's whatever though if this will help me to corral my thoughts better than so be it."

"Corral? Am I a horse now?"

"No, you're just a jackass."

The reflection laughed and strangely Deceit chuckled along with it.

The next few weeks carried on like this and Deceit started to notice the thoughts in his mind slowly beginning to come out of their shell. Deceit felt that he was getting better and that the storm inside him was finally starting to calm. Yet, there was one storm Deceit had yet to calm and that was Virgil.

Deceit knew his and Virgil's relationship was still a rocky one. Even when Deceit became a part of the household, the two of them still avoided each other like the plague.  
However, it wasn't easy to avoid each other completely and especially not when both wanted to relax on the couch at the same time.  
They stared at each other for some time, both wondering if they should say something as they fidgeted. Eventually, the two took to opposite ends of the couch. Promptly ignoring each other's existence as one scrolled through Tumblr and the other read his book.

After some time, Deceit found himself dozing off at his end of the couch. He really didn't want to fall asleep while Virgil was here but he couldn't keep his eyes open any longer. Soon enough, he was fast asleep.  
When he woke up, he was still in the living room but something was...different. The room was darker than before and the TV was playing static. Deceit felt a cold chill run down his spine as he turned his head to where Virgil was supposed to be sitting. Only to find his reflection lounging there instead and looking curiously at him.

"You've changed," it said.

Deceit didn't reply and the reflection chuckled softly. "You've changed over these past few weeks or so. It seems that a lot of pain has been whisked away in the time you've spent with the Light Sides."

"I'm not so sure about that,” Deceit sighed “There’s still a lot of pain left inside me and though it has lessened some, it doesn’t mean it’s any easier to manage."

"Hmm," the reflection hummed, swinging his legs down, and getting up to stretch. "I also think it's on account of you talking to someone other than me."

"So what if I have? Is it wrong to be talking to someone else?" Deceit hissed 

The reflection yawned and eyed him carefully "No, quite honestly I think it's the smartest thing you’ve done. However, I've come to the conclusion that you no longer need a 'reflection' to relinquish those thoughts. So, in short, I've decided to take a break for a while."

"You, what?" Deceit said jaw dropped. 

"You heard me," The reflection replied 

"Wait, wait, wait, after everything that's happened, you're going to leave. Just like that?" Deceit said. 

"Aw, what? You gonna miss me?" the reflection grinned

Deceit rolled his eyes "hardly," he replied.

"Well, it's only for a while until you inevitably fall back again. I figured it would be nice if you were able to move on and explore new horizons."

"Moving on huh?" Deceit mused

"Don't give me that look," the reflection said

Deceit chuckled and stood up, extending his hand out to his reflection. The reflection hesitated a moment before shaking it.

"It was a pleasure being your negative thoughts, I hope we can do this again sometime," the reflection said.

"I hope not," Deceit replied.

The reflection smiled and shook its head. "Oh, and one more thing."

"What?" Deceit replied

"Upon waking up, make sure to run towards the storm instead of from it. Because if you keep trying to run away, you'll never get to the eye of the storm, and that's the best part of all."

"And that's supposed to mean what exactly?" Deceit questioned

"No idea!" The reflection laughed as it started to fade away, leaving Deceit alone in the empty common room.

Deceit slowly opened his eyes and was greatly confused when he felt something holding onto him. He looked down to see Virgil snuggled up to his chest.

"V-Virgil?" he said. 

Virgil shifted and opened his eyes, looking up at Deceit. "Hi," he whispered.

"Hi," Deceit whispered back. "Mind telling me why you're so snuggled up to my chest?"

Virgil's cheeks flushed red and he quickly sat up. "Y-you looked like you were having a nightmare. A-And I thought I should comfort you or something like that."

"Well, I guess I should say thank you. For, um, comforting me I mean," Deceit blushed.

They both sat there awkwardly, Virgil fidgeting with his jacket and Deceit rubbing the back of his neck.

"Hey, Dee?" Virgil said

"Y-yes?" Deceit replied

"I'm sorry for everything!" Virgil blurted out suddenly.

Deceit was taken aback and blinked in confusion as Virgil turned away from him.

"What?" Deceit replied

"I-I'm sorry for being a dick to you. I feel like such an idiot," Virgil said

"No, Virgil," Deceit sighed "I should be the one to apologize to you for being angry. I was the one that was a jerk to you all this time and I should've let you be happy, instead of trying to ruin it for you."

"You were...angry?" Virgil winced 

"Yes, I was angry because someone I loved and whom I thought was my friend, turned out not to be and it really hurt."

"I didn't mean to hurt you. I only wanted-"

"Something better?"

"Ya...” Virgil sniffled and tears began to fall down his face as an awkward silence fell between them. Virgil hugged into himself and wiped the tears away from his eyes. “I know this probably sounds dumb and all but...I want to go back."

"Go back?" Deceit questioned

"Go back to the way things used to be. Before everything went to hell." Virgil replied.

“I see,” Deceit said, tucking a piece of hair behind Virgil’s ear. “Well...that doesn’t sound dumb to me at all.” 

“T-then, c-can we be friends again?” Virgil asked

Deceit chuckled and opened his arms “Of course Storm Cloud,” he said.

Virgil smiled and climbed into the safety of Deceit’s arms, snuggling close to his chest.

Deceit knew this was only the first step in regaining their friendship. Yet, holding Virgil in his arms again reminded him that it was okay and that they didn't have to rush things. For now, as long as they were trying, perhaps things could get better. Maybe, just maybe, the old stitches that so long ago had been reaped could be sewed back into place.

**Author's Note:**

> Don't forget to like, comment, favorite, and share. See you next chapter!


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